Potatoes. :D

helllllllooo my blog.
oh no. im like mood-less.
no mood. just wana sleep my life away.
no study no project no everything can can can!!
yawns.

no school today. skipped mbio lect in the morning.
then ended up rest of the lessons were all cancelled.
SLEEP!!!

im feeling so tired for no reason.
im not hungry but i keep eating.
prawn crackers, potato chips. sighs.
i want to sleep.
please dont bother me with anything alr okay?
only by sleeping i can like apart from this world for some moment.

i hope to see myself, lying on this big big patch of field.
so green.
looking at the blue blue sky.
and when i look around me,
i can see cattle grazing.
oh so good hor?

or just let me go diving.
inside the deep blue sea. swimming with those fishes.
no sharks la please. lol.
EMBRACE THE OCEAN.

grant my wish please?

oh no. today is just a bad day.
i thought i could go swimming in the morning.
but it rained. arghhhs.
then went to school to do amic project.
AND I ACTUALLY FORGOT TO BRING MY LABCOAT.
WHAT THE....

already no mood. then like that.
didnt went for my freehand drawing lessons.
instead, i borrowed labcoat and stayed on to do amic.
rather spend time on amic la. better.
i think i love amic more than freehand drawing.
microorganisms are like cuter leh. lol
i have more passion in science i guess.

after the lab i packed everything,
and and and, i went to concourse and get my stuffs printed.
and realised i left my labcoat upstairs!!!
ARGHHHHSS.
must take so much trouble to go up.
but i can only blame myself for being stupid.
im dumb. stupid and clumsy.
i suck!!!

挑一张耶诞卡
写上满满祝福的话
地址写的是心底
你能不能收到它
天有点冷风有点大
城市宁静而喧哗

这一个冬天我得一个人走回家
问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜褃回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法
让寂寞更听话

你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

有再多的牵挂都已没有权利表达
旧情人给的问候比陌生人还尴尬
昨天远了明天还长
回忆模糊但巨大
这样的深夜眼泪要怎样不流下
问自己习惯了吗
没有你每到夜褃回声变得好大
有没有什麽好方法让寂寞更听话

你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗
忙碌吗累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

你最近还好吗
是不是也在思念褃挣扎
你说会记得我还记得吗
你最近还好吗忙碌吗
累吗心还会痛吗
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快乐出发

i guess munching on chocolates just doesnt help.
and, yea.
how are you?

back to blogging again.
looks like im blogging once a week.
this hectic week has finally ended.
the rushing of abchm summary almost drove us all crazy.
FINALLY HANDED IN.
it isnt a good piece of work i must say.
it is the week where there are so many quizzes.
mct tut quiz. mbio tut quiz. mbio lect quiz. amic lect quiz.
finally. there are all over...
BUT there are still more to come.
presentations. assignments. projects.
=(

i've somehow started questioning myself.
" WHY AM I IN THIS COURSE HUH?"
haha. i have no idea why i chose this course.
people from other course like quite free huh.
and yes, i seriously hate my cds.
i sucks at drawing.
i have no patience at all. im so sure that im going to get a C for this subject.
confirm chop.
why cant there be a cds for sports huh?
i'll definitely join. learn all kinds of sports.
good right?

or should i get a cca?
dragonboat seems good.
but kinda xiong leh the training.
wonder if i can take it cause i havent been training for quite long.
and this sem is seriously hectic.
-shakes head-
but i keep thinking, "others can cope with cca and studies at the same time? mayb i can do it too!"
well well. i need more time to consider.
alot of commitment one leh.
haha.

i finally get some rest today can.
Oh. went to like sort of celebrate with amanda ytd.
haha. both of us. celebrate what right?
its the celebration of the end of the week when all the quizzez and projects due that week has ended!
we went to HEI RAMEN.
eh no la. its ramen ten. hahaaha.

sighs. kinda disappointed in some people.
but i guess mayb it doesnt hit me that hard.
the world's ugly sometimes.
accept it. haha.
sometimes i just dont understand why people act in this way.
putting up some show to get some benefits.
personal projects. how sick is that can?
felt not only disappointed, but somehow disgusted too.

some ppl you just cannot trust la.
the more you gave them your trust, they just break it like that.
they just make use of the trust you have in them to do things.
then when you realise it, its like kinda late alr.
so saddening right?
and sometimes i really wonder,
THEY DONT FEEL GUILTY OR BAD ONE MEH?

there are just too many this kind of people in this world.
seen many alr. need more time to see more.

perhaps what amanda said is right,
love all. trust a few. but NEVER BETRAY.
its hard to get to this stage.
first of all, you might not even love all.
then how to carry on right?
tsk tsk.
even if you do love all,
will you be able to only trust a few?
if you trust all, you're just risking yourself to getting hurt.
ah. i feel so disgusted when im typing this entry.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
er xin.
arghhhhhhs.

enough said here.

oh gosh.
I AM SICK
im always sick before blood drive huh.
cant donate blood again. =(
i've mentioned before that i hate being sick right.
why do i have to be sick.
i never take care of myself meh?
it just makes myself feel worse when i got so many things to do.
1)freehand drawing assignment.
2) ANALYTICAL BIOCHEM PBL 1 SUMMARY
3) change water for my goldfishes. lol.
4) pack my room
and many many things.
the pbl alone is enough to kill me.
so many things undone.
and i always remember that time is never enough and work is never done.
im so tired now even though i woke up at 10.
guess i really need medication.
dying la.

so many things happened huh.
and i realised im the one who's really changing.
and PEOPLE HATE YOU WHEN YOU CHANGE.
i think i've never really lose my temper infront of my friends before.
friday was bad.
i didnt know how i did it.
mayb too stressed up or what.
bad mood swings. sorry for that.
haha.

oh went to do cip for apel 2 yesterday.
help to wash the house for the elderly.
met up with the rest at lavendar.
waited for so long for the social worker to come.
her attitude was so damn bad la.
we wasnt brief on what to do.
dont even know if we are supposed to bring cleaning logistics
aand we got scolding from her.
wah lao. its not our fault right?
everyone was pissed off before we started cip.
but we were so lucky can.
supposed to clean this garang guni house where there's many bed bugs.
but the owner went out of the house!
so we clean another house. easier task. no bed bugs!

when i first enter the house,
i can feel the loneliness of the uncle.
he kept so many toys.
some dolls and ornaments.
while i was cleaning the windows outside,
i looked into the house and saw the social worker talking to the uncle.
heard their conversation.
though its like nothing much,
i almost cried.
i suddenly feel so sad for this uncle.
he's so old already and staying alone.
=(

okay then we cleaned his house.
i kept talking to him.
he's damn nice. showed us the stuffs he kept.
told us many stories.
he got 6 children. but all abandoned him?
he said he's happier now.
his children used to treat him bad when he was with them.
sighs so sad.
i've been thinking so much.
like if i will be like this old man when i turn like 70 next time?
will my kids abandon me?
or mayb im not even married, i got no companions.
i live alone in this one room flat
and i will be suffering from health problems.
then i cant walk.
HOW????
then mayb if i die in the house, nobody know also.
sighhhhss.

seee. i told you all i'll be damn emo when i sick.
i think even more.
sick + emo = worse.
now really everywhere also pain.
sighhhss.

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛
连沉默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛

痛痛痛痛痛痛

goooood morning.
bad mood yesterday can.
eh. not really bad mood. its like no mood.
this will be a damn short entry.
i will have no mood again. zzzz
went school for meeting for abchm ytd.
like not productive at all ar.
i dont know whats wrong.
our group already lagging behind.
sometimes i really want to give up.
sick of group work.
there's always people who do miminal work one.
sighs.
im so gona hate pbl.

i wana have a break soon.
the world is moving and changing too fast.
pain everywhere.
not only in the heart, but everywhere here in my body.
i even told amanda my blood telling me its pain.
and yes, rainy days again.
sadded.

bad day bad day.
still online at this hour.
searching for stuffs for my abchm.
so pathetic.
i cant find anything under protein extraction.
ah i could have slept earlier.
kw just popped out outside my house.
so hopped into his car to look for amanda then to aranda.
about 1 then reached home?
AND COM WAS BEING SWITCHED OFF LA.
arghhhs.

its really a bad day today.
huang yan actually called me to ask if i could see her regarding ABCHM.
its about the HFLA template we submited.
ah. we were out of track. =(
so got to to redo again. but the marks for the first template is taken down alr.
so the one we redo is llike for our own reference.
sighs.

but its okay. we are back on the right track now!
more meetings!
so tiring can.
torture me mentally.

and oh yah, wanted to add on something to the previous post.
count also how many of those ppl who said "i'll be there for you when you need me" ," i will always be there",
or worse still i rmb something " i'll always be there for all the friends i care"?
and count who were really there!
dont say it when you dont mean it la.
its all crap.
just something like "friends forever".
rubbish la. its being said to make you feel better when nothing big happened.
when you're so down, how many are actually there?
SEE?
ALL LIES.just like saying for the sake of saying.

things like " i'll always be there for all the friends i care"
wah. till now its a disappointment to me.
now mayb i know why.
perhaps to you, im not even a friend. i dont stand any place in your heart.
i am unimportant what.
RIGHT?
or perhaps you've alr forgotten what you've said to me.

hatred isnt good. i dont have it.
but im afraid that it will blend into me.

im like so damn full now.
instant noodle for dinner.
1 packet is just too much.
go 85 eat also not so full.

hmmm.
ask yourself a question.
how many " friends forever" do you have?
i believe most of you will have.
in pri sch or even sec sch or even anytime in your life,
there's sure someone who will tell you, " we will be friends forever!!"
how many of these " friends forever" do you keep in contact now?
for me, some i dont even know where the hell they are now.
dont even know what they're doing.
sometimes when you walked past each other, you both just exchange greetings.
nothing else.
worse still, one of them just walked past the other like as if you both are strangers.
like invisible one.
so sad right?

when i think of all these,
i dont believe in " friends forever"
this thing doesnt work.
people just say it and then forget about it.
WHATS THE POINT OF SAYING?
to me, its more like something that cant be fulfilled at all.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA.
haha
why am i online at such wee hours???
its because i just reached home 20 minutes ago.
thanks to kewee who drive me and amanda home.
weeeeeeeeee.
almost dead.
mayb cuz i drank a little of whiskey. weeeeeeeeeee
legs abit wobbly. ahaha.
but nvm, i guess it just makes me feel abit better. haha.

fun fun day today.
wasnt feeling good this morning.
so sick of sch. kinda down.
but after all these, i feel better.
yay. friendly taught me how to do the tricks!
so happy now.
lets play and play!
i dont know what to say. hahaha.

oh oh. i think im just so high doing this entry now.
haha. think i better sleep soon!
shall do more updates after my sleep.
weeeeeee.

GOOD MORNING.
happy deepavali.
im not happy at all.
got so many things to do.
arghhs.
ccn is like next friday?
i have yet to settle anything.
i got many ideas.
all workable. but its how well we can do it.
its like i got no confidence in whatever we do.
sighs.
think gotta go out later to do some ccn stuffs.
yawns.

now i kinda hate freehand drawing.
it sucks. almost driving me crazy on tuesday.
i was on the verge of breaking down and almost wanted to tear my drawing block.
so sick of drawing la. i have no talent at all.
i should have chosed the cds that kewen is in.
E-learning?
i dont even know that there was this cds in the first place can.
arghs. forget about it.
just see how i can make the best out of it.

so tired so tired.
i just wana complain.
COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN.
there are just so many things that im not happy with.
sometimes i really tot that the world is so unfair.
there's no really black or white.
the world. the society is grey.
so many ppl are standing in between black and white.
NO FAIR SYSTEM IN THIS WORLD.

im so sick and tired of seeing mannequins everywhere.
arent you sick too?
they are just putting on clothes which makes them look a little better.
but on the inside, i guess they're just nothing.
giving the same expression. OR rather no expressions at all.
OH SO FAKE CAN.
smiling to everyone who walks past them.
THE WORLD IS UGLY.

born to defend not to kill 说:
ok i gtg
born to defend not to kill 说:
my eyes need a break
born to defend not to kill 说:
bb
born to defend not to kill 说:
i treat them to kitkat

funny right jacinda.
on msn like that.
real life even worse. lol.

finally im making an entry.
sch's getting busier.
more and more workload.
projects pbl. wooo.

too busy and tired to blog.
and no topic in mind particularly.
sighs.
its like sch everyday.
same feelings almost everyday.
i dont know if its bored or what.
or im getting used to all these.

hmmm.
feel like going for a backpack tour.
haha. its like getting a break from all these here.
leave singapore for a moment.
but i dont have the $$$
and so many things to be done. =(

hmm. im even considering whether to go overseas for sip next year.
lol. it should be a very good experience.
getting separated from your friends, family and place you're familiar with.
making yourself more independent.
isn't that great?
im just not independent enough. always relying on others.
i think its the cost and something else that im considering la.
haha.

i have yet settle what to do for ccn.
its giving me a big headache.
we were top last year, and this year miss ang is the head of the ccn for AS?
omg. itds driving me crazy.
how to keep up to last year's standard?
dont really want to do the same stuffs as last year.
i want something more creative.
MY GOD LA. HOW.

i will do another entry afterwards if i got the mood.